


I’ll love you ‘til the end of the line, and I will love you even after that.

by mybutterflyguy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 13:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19006432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybutterflyguy/pseuds/mybutterflyguy
Summary: This is just a oneshot (or series of mini oneshots?) about how I imagine Steve and Bucky ending up together. It contains scenes from Civil War that do exist in canon, but with some added flair of what I think was going on in their heads, and anything else I wanted to change or add.





	I’ll love you ‘til the end of the line, and I will love you even after that.

Bucky stood frozen, wondering if what he was seeing was actually true. If that was really Steve standing there, wearing his Captain America uniform, looking through Bucky’s journal. Bucky hoped to God Steve was just looking at the pictures and not reading any of the passages.

“Understood.” Steve said to someone in his earpiece, and Bucky’s breath nearly caught in his throat as he heard his voice.

God, it had been so long.

Steve seemed to sense his presence, and quickly turned around, their eyes meeting, and neither of them saying anything for a moment. Bucky couldn’t speak, he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how… he just stood there, tensed, and ready to run.

Steve looked him up and down, and Bucky couldn’t read his expression, and he wondered if he wanted to know what was going on inside his old friend’s head.

“You know me?” Steve asked him.

Know him? Of course, he knew him. He knew him better than anyone else on the planet. He had known him and would always know him, no matter how far apart they were, whether they were friends or enemies or- no, he couldn’t think that.

“You’re Steve.” Bucky finally said, his voice low and hoarse, and he looked away from Steve as he said, “I read about you in a museum.”

Steve’s expression softened, and he took a small step towards him, saying, “I know you’re nervous, and you have plenty of reason to be.”

Bucky didn’t say anything. His hands were shaking, and his heart was beating rapidly.

“But you’re lying.” Steve said, his eyes piercing into Bucky’s very soul.

Bucky’s heart squeezed. He should have known Steve would know him better than that, but Bucky couldn’t talk about that. Not right now. He needed to switch the conversation.

“I wasn’t in Vienna. I don’t do that anymore.” Bucky said quickly, hoping Steve would know that this, at least, was truth.

Bucky watched Steve fidget and glance out the window, and Bucky wondered what was being said on the other side of that earpiece.

“Well the people who think you did are coming here now.” Steve said urgently, taking another step towards him, “And they’re not planning on taking you alive.”

“That’s smart. Good strategy.” Bucky replied, though his heart was starting to pound from fear instead of whatever it was that Steve made him feel.

There were small thuds above them, and both Steve and Bucky looked up at the sounds, and Bucky knew that whoever had come for him was getting ready to strike. His time with Steve was limited. He should have known better than to believe that Steve had, against all odds, found him. He’d only found him because someone else already had.

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck.” Steve said pleadingly.

If he wasn’t so scared, Bucky would have laughed. Steve really had no idea how the world worked. He had no idea what Bucky’s life had been since he’d fallen from that train. This didn’t have to end in a fight? Bucky’s whole goddamn life was a fight. A fight to remember, to survive, to be free, just to exist.

Bucky took off his glove, revealing his metal arm, and resigning himself to whatever fate was headed his way. He wanted to trust Steve, but Steve had no idea who he was, who he really was. Bucky knew Steve, but Steve didn’t know Bucky. Not anymore.

He looked over at Steve, and sadly said, “It always ends in a fight.”

“You pulled me from the river.” Steve said loudly, looking frustrated and worried, “Why?”

Bucky clenched his jaw. How was he supposed to tell him? How was he supposed to explain to Steve in the small time they did have left together, in this moment, why he had saved him? If he didn’t already know, there wasn’t a point saying it out loud.

“I don’t know.” Bucky lied to him.

“Yes, you do.” Steve said, and Bucky’s heart clenched painfully.

The two of them looked at each other for a moment, and Bucky wondered if he should say it, but it was too late.

The window smashed, and all hell broke loose.

…

Steve looked out the window, watching as a military helicopter searched for himself, Sam, and Bucky.

_You’ve really done it now, Rogers_. He thought to himself.

But he didn’t regret it. Not even a little bit. Because if it meant that Bucky, the Bucky he knew and loved, would come back to him, then it would all be worth it.

“Hey, Cap.” Sam said, and Steve turned to look at him.

Sam nodded towards Bucky, and Steve hurried over to him, his heart aching as he watched Bucky achily pull himself up, looking pained, bruised, and broken.

“Steve,” was the first thing out of Bucky’s mouth, and Steve was sure his heart would break.

He wanted to run to him, to make sure he was alright, to free him from the trap they’d created to make sure he didn’t hurt them, but what did it matter if he did try to hurt him? Bucky said his name, surely that meant… no. Steve couldn’t let his emotions overpower him. Before he did anything, he had to be sure.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve asked, searching Bucky’s face for any sign of recognition.

Bucky was quiet for a moment, and he stared off in the distance as though remembering something from a long time ago, which, of course, he was.

“Your mom’s name was Sarah.” Bucky said quietly, his lips turning up into a smile, and he gave a low laugh as he said, “You used to wear newspapers in your shoes.”

Steve’s expression softened, and his heart swelled at the memory. His voice was low as he said, “You can’t read that in a museum.”

Bucky’s eyes locked with Steve’s for a moment, and Steve wondered what was going on behind those sad blue eyes, wondering if it was the same thing that was going through Steve’s.

“So just like that we’re supposed to be cool?” Sam said grumpily, interrupting the moment.

Bucky’s face fell, and he looked at the ground, Steve’s heart clenching at the sight. He wanted more than anything in the world to make this all go away, and give Bucky the life he deserved.

“What did I do?” Bucky asked, his voice cracking as he looked up at Steve with tear-filled eyes.

Steve was quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say, since he knew words couldn’t heal the wounds that Bucky so desperately needed healed.

“Enough,” was all Steve could bring himself to reply, his heart breaking as he watched Bucky’s face fall.

…

Bucky was silent as Steve flew the quinjet towards the mountains, his mind going over and over what had happened at the airport. All this pain and violence, this breaking of friendships… it was all because of him. Steve was doing it all because of him, and while Bucky was more than grateful that Steve hadn’t turned his back on him after all he’d done, he could only the feel the guilt weighing down on him.

“What’s gonna happen to your friends?” Bucky finally asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Steve was silent for a moment, and Bucky heard more in that silence than if Steve had told him the truth.

“Whatever it is… I’ll deal with it.” Steve finally said calmly, though Bucky could hear the worry in his voice.

Bucky looked down, the guilt weighing down even heavier, and he said, “I don’t know if I’m worth all this Steve.”

Steve looked back at him, and Bucky met his eyes, wondering if Steve would finally see that Bucky was right. That he wasn’t worth all this. That Steve was better off just moving on and leaving Bucky to deal with the mess he had created.

“What you did all those years… it wasn’t you.” Steve said earnestly, “You didn’t have a choice.”

“I know.” Bucky replied, which he did… but that didn’t mean he believed it, “But I did it.”

Steve was silent, and Bucky wondered if it was because he didn’t know what to say, or if it was because he was starting to see Bucky for who he really was.

Bucky didn’t know which was worse.

He hated himself for allowing Steve to give up everything he’d worked so hard for, for himself, especially after everything he’d done… but the idea of Steve looking at him like a monster, of him turning away and abandoning him, was almost too much to bear. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn’t lose Steve, not now, not ever.  
Little did he know that Steve was thinking the same thing about him.

…

Steve looked over at Bucky as they prepared to exit the quinjet. The two had been silent for most of the flight, and Steve’s heart ached at the sight of Bucky’s sad face.

As the door opened, Steve hesitated for a moment, and then said, “You remember that time we had to ride back from Rockaway Beach in the back of that freezer truck?”

Bucky looked over at him, his eyes brightening slightly as he said, “Was that the time you used our train money to buy hot dogs?”

Steve’s heart fluttered as Bucky smiled at him, a real, genuine smile, for the first time since Steve had found him alive.

“You blew three bucks trying to win that stuffed bear for a redhead.” Steve shot back, though his stomach tightened at the memory.

Bucky laughed, and then furrowed his brow, saying, “What was her name again?”

“Dolores.” Steve said, trying hard to keep the edge out of his voice, though his insides squirmed strangely with an emotion he couldn’t quite place, “You called her Dot.”

“She’s gotta be a hundred years old by now.” Bucky said, shaking his head.

“So are we, pal.” Steve said, placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

Bucky looked over at him, and the words behind Steve’s statement seemed to settle over the both of them. Steve studied Bucky’s face for a moment, part of him longing to go back to the days where everything seemed so much simpler, and where spending too much on a stuffed bear was the worst of their problems. Back to the days when Steve spent almost every waking moment with Bucky, and it was just the two of them in Brooklyn, trying to get by. Back then, they thought it was them against the world, but little did they realize, that someday, it would be exactly that.

Steve gave Bucky one last pat, tearing his gaze away from Bucky’s, his heart giving another flutter as he felt Bucky’s gaze stay on his face for a moment longer, his cheeks tinging pink.

_Focus, Rogers_ , he told himself, _There’s too much at stake._

But Steve couldn’t help looking back at Bucky, just to look at him, as they descended from the quinjet.

…

Steve and Bucky were on an elevator, descending deeper and deeper into the compound where Zemo was hiding. They stood across from each other, the two of them locking eyes, and just looking at each other for a moment, wondering what they would face once those elevator doors opened.

Steve longed to reach towards Bucky and pull him closer, and it was an ache in his chest that he was trying so desperately to repress, but, God, how long had he been repressing those feelings in the first place? And how much longer could he continue to do so, especially when he had no idea how much longer he’d have with Bucky once they found Zemo and possibly the other Winter Soldiers?

Bucky eyes flickered from Steve’s eyes, to his lips, and then back to his eyes again, the same longing as Steve burning inside of him. What if this was it? What if… what if Zemo had woken up the other Soldiers? What if they were walking into a massacre? What if they had reached the end of the line? Could Bucky die knowing that he’d never told Steve how he really felt? How much Steve meant to him?

“Steve-“ Bucky started, but he was interrupted as Steve leaned forward, unable to hold back any longer at the sound of his name.

Steve pressed his lips to Bucky’s, placing a hand gently on Bucky’s cheek. Bucky was taken aback for a moment, his mind sparking and buzzing, but then, when he realized what was happening, he leaned into the kiss, and wrapped an arm around Steve’s neck, pulling him closer.

Neither of them pulled apart until the elevator reached the bottom and the doors opened, and even then, they stayed close with their foreheads pressed together.

“How long?” Bucky asked him breathlessly.

“Since I was sixteen.” Steve whispered back, “You?”

“About the same.” Bucky replied, pulling back so he could look at him, “I wanted to tell you, so many times-“

“I know. Me too.” Steve said, rubbing his thumb along Bucky’s cheek, and looking at him intently, “But there’s no point worrying about lost time. All we can do is keep going forward, alright?”

“Who knows how much longer either of us will be here?” Bucky said, tears pricking his eyes, “Who know what lies on the other side of that door?”

“I don’t know, but what I do know is that with you by my side, I could go to hell and back without batting an eye.” Steve said, giving Bucky a small smile.

Bucky grinned at him, though a few tears still leaked out of his eyes, which Steve quickly wiped away, and then gave him one more kiss.

“Ready?” Steve asked him.

Bucky nodded, “Yeah.”

The pulled away from each other, though they still stayed close, and prepared for the fight of their lives.

…

Steve bent down, pulling a bruised and bloodied Bucky into his arms, and helping him to his feet. Bucky swayed, leaning heavily against Steve for support, but Steve held him tightly, gripping his waist, and letting know that he wasn’t go to let Bucky fall.

“That shield doesn’t belong to you.” Tony spat angrily, and Steve felt a sharp pain at his words, “You don’t deserve it. My father made that shield!”

Steve froze, and for a moment, just a moment, Bucky wondered if he was going to turn him over. If he was finally going to realize that Bucky wasn’t worth giving up everything he had fought for, and even though it broke his heart just to think about, Bucky knew that he wouldn’t blame him if he did.

Then there was a loud clang.

Bucky looked over and realized that Steve had dropped the shield.

Steve gave Bucky a small squeeze, and then pulled him forward, leading him away from an appalled Tony.

“Steve,” Bucky said as they disappeared around the corner, “Steve, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Buck.”

“The shield, your title-“

“They mean nothing to me if it means losing you.” Steve replied, adjusting Bucky so that he could look into his face, “I’ll love you ‘til the end of the line, and I’ll love you even after that.”

Bucky’s lips twitched upwards, “I love you too, Steve.”

Steve nodded, kissed Bucky’s temple, and then moved forward with their arms wrapped around each other. They had no idea where they were going, or what was going to happen, but they knew that, no matter what happened, they would stay together until the end of the line.


End file.
